Someone had mentioned to me today that they had been met with indifference from certain people around them several times and from some others on a regular basis. He said something in lines of, 'Well, I suppose, when you get used to people disappointing you, you have no choice but to get used to living your life without them - on your own'.
How right you are, my friend. I have been there for a while, well, on both receiving and giving ends. I do feel ashamed of myself for casting on the impression that I don't feel for those people anymore. I stop all communications. I become totally irresponsive. Most of the time - if not all - I just cave in to other stresses and issues I have to deal with at the time. I resort to pulling all my energy resources and placing them were they are most required at the time. So, I end up, involuntarily, irresponsive. By the time I am done, it is then too late to reconcile with your friends. Only a few of them remain over the years as they are the select few who understand me and have managed to cope with my changing circumstances, well sometimes better than me!
However, I have been, quite often, on the receiving end of indifference. I have been made to feel like I am a some sort of a super machine. The moment I show signs of vulnerability, I am cast away as "aggressive" and unsympathetic. 'I am only human', I keep on reminding them and myself. I have been told that I have to take responsibility for my actions. Well, I do, regularly. That is when I feel utterly demoralised, alienated from the human race. I feel that I cannot rely on people to show understanding or compassion. I feel that I am further treated as a machine who have had a malfunction, and thus, have fallen from grace - or have temporarily gone to silicone limbo!
Why would anyone be expected, in this time and age, to actually genuinely keep up with the shyt capitalism throws at you. One has to keep up with living life comfortably and do the things that make them smile, alongside a mortgage, an unsatisfying or demoralising job, an emotionally unresponsive partner, little spare time or energy - or both - for projects of your own, stigmas, persecution, news, economy collapse, advertisements, bad music... and the list goes on.
On the plus side, having those few friends that genuinely understand what you're about makes a world of difference. Humans are not meant to live independent or separatist lives. We are designed to rely on each other, in a community form, to aid each other along the way, to give and take, to pull and push, to bleed and heal - to genuinely be a human being; a graceful being with flaws and faults, only reconcilable when in a "pack" or "tribe" of likeminded human beings.
How right you are, my friend. I have been there for a while, well, on both receiving and giving ends. I do feel ashamed of myself for casting on the impression that I don't feel for those people anymore. I stop all communications. I become totally irresponsive. Most of the time - if not all - I just cave in to other stresses and issues I have to deal with at the time. I resort to pulling all my energy resources and placing them were they are most required at the time. So, I end up, involuntarily, irresponsive. By the time I am done, it is then too late to reconcile with your friends. Only a few of them remain over the years as they are the select few who understand me and have managed to cope with my changing circumstances, well sometimes better than me!
However, I have been, quite often, on the receiving end of indifference. I have been made to feel like I am a some sort of a super machine. The moment I show signs of vulnerability, I am cast away as "aggressive" and unsympathetic. 'I am only human', I keep on reminding them and myself. I have been told that I have to take responsibility for my actions. Well, I do, regularly. That is when I feel utterly demoralised, alienated from the human race. I feel that I cannot rely on people to show understanding or compassion. I feel that I am further treated as a machine who have had a malfunction, and thus, have fallen from grace - or have temporarily gone to silicone limbo!
Why would anyone be expected, in this time and age, to actually genuinely keep up with the shyt capitalism throws at you. One has to keep up with living life comfortably and do the things that make them smile, alongside a mortgage, an unsatisfying or demoralising job, an emotionally unresponsive partner, little spare time or energy - or both - for projects of your own, stigmas, persecution, news, economy collapse, advertisements, bad music... and the list goes on.
On the plus side, having those few friends that genuinely understand what you're about makes a world of difference. Humans are not meant to live independent or separatist lives. We are designed to rely on each other, in a community form, to aid each other along the way, to give and take, to pull and push, to bleed and heal - to genuinely be a human being; a graceful being with flaws and faults, only reconcilable when in a "pack" or "tribe" of likeminded human beings.
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